Earl's Pearls

Oh my aching everything. Feels like somebody dropped Nebraska on my head. The Green Tie Ball was outstanding. I behaved myself more or less. Ok mostly less. Now I have to drag myself to the gym.

Owwwwwwwww

On the positive side, Michigan lost.

And there was much rejoicing. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

I'm puttin on my top hat.... puttin on my tails....

Off to the Green tie ball tonight. Full throttle Tuxedo etc. Our man about town should have amusing anecdotes as he searches for the perfect woman.... stay tuned.

First a PSA.

I have not yet set up email feedback here. But if you wish to comment, criticize, or ask me out on a date you can send me an email at addisonst@aol.com. Please put Twistedknickers in the Subject line so I know you're not selling me viagra, debt consolidation services, or pornographic material.

For those with a morbid curiosity, i'm trying to figure out how to put my picture on here. Perhaps that's a bad idea.

Ahhhh self deprecation.

I have no unique thoughts to provide about the 2 year anniversary of 9 1 1 0 1.

I just hope that people remember both the victims and why we are doing what we are doing in the middle east.

Our "friends" in Western Europe have already forgotten.

We need to keep avoiding french, german and belgium products to remind them.

Eat Hershey's and avoid yogurt.

He's Got the Whole WorldCom in His Hands

Apparently the good folks at MCI WorldCom were quite religious. When the company started to go to h-e double hockey sticks, CEO Bernie Ebbers said the fate of the company was in God's hands.

I wonder which chapters the very religious leaders of WCOM were thinking about as they committed the largest financial fraud in US history.

Oh well. Bernie's gonna be Osama's downstair's neighbor I think. It'll be interesting to see which one of em bet on the wrong horse.

Some phrases you just never tire of hearing.

Tax Refund.
You are so handsome.
Oh my god it's so huge I don't think I can take it all.
Would you like to come back with my supermodel girlfriends for some sex with the three of us?

All of those pale next to my favorite phrase in the world.

First place Chicago Cubs.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A lost weekend.

Last night I met a very cute young attorney and didn't save her phone # properly in my cell. So she's gone forever. Plus another fetching lovely that I knew had changed her hair color and then was pissed that I didn't recoginze her. I'll figure out women about 30 seconds before they put me in the pine box.

Now I'm sitting here in shock as the Bear is losing to San Francisco 33-7 at the half.

It's like watching a bunch of gang bangers kick the crap out of an old lady. And nobody is doing anything to help.

I knew it was lost.....and then I saw him walking across Lake Michigan in a Harley jacket with perfectly coiffed hair. The late summer sun glistened off the protective shell coating. It made the afternoon unexpectedly hot (didn't everybody overdress yesterday for work?). One can only surmise what it did to the ozone layer, although I'm sure he'll fix that problem after the baseball season. The sunglasses hid his eyes. The better for mere mortals not to see what goes on behind the human looking eyeballs for it's beyond our explanation and comprehension.

Da Coach climbed into the box to sing the 7th inning melody. And both I and the Wrigely denizens were bathed in a soothing serenity. I swear I'm not exaggerating when I say that the glow he emitted through my TV levitated my sofa. And yet I wasn't scared for I was with him.

It was un-canny how instantaneously the cub batsman got lightening like batspeed. Except for Sammy of course. He's the anti Coach.

And as he left the booth he took the souls of the Cardinals along with their pitching arms as a sacrifice. And I'm not talking about the bunting kind of sacrifice.

He's Mark Prior with better hair.

God Bless America.