Earl's Pearls

My beloved Texas Longhorn has caught a whole lot of flack for "usurping" the Rose Bowl spot of the California Golden Bear.

Last night we saw how pathetic Cal was as they proved themselves completely undeserving of a BCS spot. They were given a complete and total beatdown by the middle of the pack Texas Tech Red Raider.

Win or lose (shudder at the thought of losing to the most despicable college program in Merca, the U. of Michigan), the Horn was the best at large team in the country at the time the bids went out.

I fully expect that the loathsome Maize and blue will go down faster than an intern near Bill Clinton.

Merry New Year.

Greetings from humid Boca Raton, Fl. Never has humdity been so welcomed compared to the weather back in Chitown.

Speaking of Chitown a little snafu at the YMCA. It seems there was a tranny fashion show which went til 7 or 8 on Sunday morning.

This led to a bunch of little kids seeing a ton of Boy George's and RuPauls. Not a pretty picture for a Christian organization.

I'm a little more philosophical. If you've seen a tranny fashion show once at a YMCA you've seen it a hundred times. And yes they fired the head dude at the Y. I'm sure he's got a future in air traffic control.

Topic on the radio today was what movie is so bad you have to watch it?
That's a no brainer. Cocktail. It's the dumbest, most moronic movie regularly on TNT. But it's like the bad milk in the fridge that you have to smell. When you see it on your screen you have to leave it on.

Oddly Enough

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A Mexican man killed his lover in a drunken, drugged fight then cooked the man's body in tomato and onion sauce and ate it over three days.

Police found Gumaro de Dios Arias grilling rotting human flesh for his breakfast, including part of a heart, when they raided a shack he lived in near the Caribbean beach resort of Playa del Carmen, a police chief said on Wednesday.

"He was preparing stews. There was a grill where he was cooking part of the heart and bits he had cut off the body. It was terrible, terrible," said local police chief Martin Estrada, who was among a dozen police who raided the shack.

Arias told police the victim, a young man, arrived at his cardboard hut in a wasteland area with a mutual friend who then left the two of them drinking and taking drugs.

The pair had sex and afterward a fight broke out during which he killed the man with blows to the head, police said.

Police arrested Arias, 25, on Tuesday after a tip off.

"They said there was a person eating a person," Estrada said.

"We found him lying on a folding bed and to one side was the corpse which had been torn apart and which it seems he had been eating for three days," he told Reuters.

The corpse, which had its back ripped open and its innards pulled out, was missing various parts, like a thigh, he said.

This raises the question of how does one best prepare a Mexican?
It also makes me wonder why all the cannibals appear to be gay? Dahmer and this guy et al. Surely there must be straight cannibals in this country.

The last time we heard from Trent Lott he was wishing for the good old days when Der Strommer, Strom Thurmond was preaching segragation.

Lott said today that Rumsfeld has to go. The noose is starting to tighten around Rummy. My guess is he'll be gone within the next month. Or if not gone, have the skids greased for his departure.

Bill Gates is joining the board of Berkshire Hathaway.

That's the 2 wealthiest American dudes on the same board. Warren Buffett and Gatesy are big time bridge players but I think Uncle Warren brought Gates on board so they could play gin during board meetings.

How much a point do you think they play for?

So Scott Peterson is getting a nice justified injection. I guess my question is why does he get a shot for doing something that doctor's do to fetuses everyday?

Seems to me the pro choice people should be appealing his sentence on the fetus.

Or maybe they just have an argument that's inherently flawed.

It is alive.

Yes, I am back after a looooooooooooooong hiatus.

Since I last scrivened the Red Sox won a world series, I'm finally legally divorced and Bush was re-elected. The Democrats and their liberal followers have been running around screaming about stealing Ohio and how we're going to all be converted to Christianity.

And there was much rejoicing.

Those liberal dopes really need to lighten up. Bush is going to be gone in 4 years. Of course he'll be replaced by another Republican barring a bad economy or middle east disaster. But the next Repub (Rudy anyone?) might not be so high on the US inquisition. In the meantime, mandatory National Sunday services will commence today at 1200 pm. Failure to attend will mean your names is put on a watchlist at the Homeland Security Department. And when you pray, pray like you mean it.

The Red Sox winning means the Cub did not.

And there was much sorrow.

Also I want to give a shout out to my good friend T. She's the second funniest person in our relationship that I know. More on her in future posts. If I marry her I could become Mr. T. Oy.