Earl's Pearls

Hope you all had a great thanksgiving. I'm utterly fascinated by Bush going to Iraq to boost the troops.

As one reporter said, "the President's awol, and we're going on the coolest road trip."

As I had the lad this weekend I did not spend much private time with Jane Bond, as I call the special forces model lady.

She did impart some info on me but it was classified. I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

Happy Tgiving to all.

This is my favorite holiday of the year even if the Packer wins today-blech.

Some things to be thankful for that are unique to this great country:

2 football games today. No other country even has one;

The steaks at Morton's and all the other similar steak houses. Try getting even a petite filet in say Lebanon let alone the 48 ozer;

No Burkha's. Unless a woman chooses to wear one;

Up to 10 times the odds at craps tables in Vegas. They have that in France? Non Non! Mon Dieu!!!!:

Beer!!!!! All you want!!!!!;

Charlize Theron;

8 or so of the 10 Bill of rights.

You'll notice I haven't been around much. Two reasons. First I've spent a lot of time in Michael Jackson's bed. Because that's normal behavior.

Second, I'm still savoring an evening with a former model, special forces solider, gourmet chef.

NO I didn't steal that from a Grisham novel. That was a real Saturday evening. To be continued...... or not.

John Kerry's campaign dopes were eavesdropped on while plotting strategy in an Iowa bar.

Several thoughts come to mind here. First, do you want a president who's senior advisors are conducting business in earshot of others? You wouldn't hire a lawyer who did that or a doctor.

As far as the strategy maybe instead of proposing Kerry ride on motorcyles, he could um ya know, maybe have a reason to vote for him.

Having been all over the map on his views on Iraq perhaps to paraphrase James Carville "it's the coherency thing"

Went to Milwaukee yesterday for a business meeting. How nice not to be forced to provide I.D. in the lobby.

Here in Chicago, and I would imagine in LA and NYC when you come into one of the nice office buildings you have to show who you are and provide a contact.

This is the building's response to 9/11. Apparently if you have to show a driver's license you're not as likely to blow up the building or put lemon fizzies in the drinking water.

Never mind that any 18 year old can get a fake driver's license. What you have is the law abiding citizens being harassed by the building people while Bin Laden's cronies get a fake Id and go on in anyway.

Apparently, Milwaukee is less concerned with Al Katy as I strolled right in. What a city.

Village apologizes for cannibalism

A remote village in New Zealand is coming to grips with its sordid past.

Just out of curiosity, do cannibals eat humans cooked only? Or is it a possibility that they eat the flesh raw? People tartare with a velvety mustard sauce and capers for example.

Food for thought.

What a metaphor for my day.

Off with the lad to school this a.m. and he hurls in the backseat of my car.

Mr. Mom is now working from home while the prince sleeps.

Off to the doctor's later. Perhaps some sympathy for Dad from a hot nurse.

Now here's a Franco we can actually applaud. This canine hero has provided more useful than any Frenchmen for 60 years.

A French hunter was shot by his dog after he left a loaded shotgun in the boot of his car with two dogs and one of the animals accidentally stepped on the trigger, police said on Wednesday.

The man, from the village of Espelette in the Basque region, was admitted to hospital in the nearby town of Bayonne on Monday with leadshot injuries to the hip.

"As he was driving along, one of his dogs accidentally set off the gun," said a police official.

Congrats to David Letterman on becoming a father at age 56.

When realizing that the talk show host was the father the infant quickly fashioned a top 10 list as to why it's good for gap toothed bastards of middle age to become new dads.

Letterman is losing his grip on reality about as quickly as he's losing viewers.

According to recently unearthed documents, in late 2002 Saddam gave North Korea a down payment of 10 million bux for missiles with a 1300 mile range.

NK then said we (the US) were watching too closely so they couldn't deliver the missiles. Iraq asked for their money back. There are no docs to confirm if they got it.
%$*^&*%^& Dictators!!!! Can't trust any of em.

This is why in major financial transactions you always put the earnest money deposit in escrow. Duh.

Can you imagine the sitdown between Sammy Hussein and Kim Jong Dork to discuss the 10 mil refund?

Kind of like Tony Soprano sittind down with Paulie Walnuts only the dictators have funnier hair.

Now this is progress!!!!!

According to the front page of today's Wall St. Journal, the hottest home trend is urinals in the home. For all the "standup guys".

If this trend continues, your humble host predicts a decrease in the divorce rate. No more fights about up vs. down or men missing the damn bowl.

I guess the new fight will be over who puts those urinal cakes in.

As a divorced male, with a male offspring who lives here part time, I may just have to get rid of a couple of toilets and replace em with urinals. I guess that's a good way to avoid having feminine company so ....... never mind.