Earl's Pearls

2011-07-24T18:55:00.006-05:00

It's been a long time since I've posted. But some azzclown at Salon.com named Michael Takiff published a sickening anti semitic screed about Eric Cantor and how he is an embarrassment to Jews. Actually the self hating anti Semite Takiff the Jew is the embarrassment.Here's his column w my fisking in italics. These days Eric Cantor is steering the United States Treasury to default (ahhh the sole

2010-06-03T09:01:00.002-05:00

It's Blagopalooza!!!!It's like Christmas, my birthday, and Arbor Day all at once. Our former governor Rod Blago Blagojevich goes on trial today. Blago masterminded a criminal enterprise from the governor's office shaking down concrete manufacturers, congressmen, president elects and most diabolically the CEO of a children's hospital. I'm never able to decide if Blago is deranged, genius,

2009-01-16T16:41:00.001-06:00

Incredible.You don't pay your taxes because you can't afford it, the taxing entity penalizes you and grabs any assets it can. The state of California over charges you and then says "sorry we can't afford to pay you back".One of many reasons to be thankful not to live in California. It's like Michigan with more traffic.

2009-01-15T09:24:00.002-06:00

New Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Cmte, John Kerry is going to have his first hearing soon. What's the topic? Terrorism? China? Middle East?Nope. Global Warming. Can't one of his staffers get him a current weather map?Is this really what we need to be focusing on right now? What's next? A unicorn.

2008-12-27T14:16:00.003-06:00

This In a Nutshell is Why Newspapers are Going Extinct.This is an opinion column in today's Wall St. Journal. The author writes for the Newark Star Ledger. His hopeless and clueless arguments and lack of knowledge of the subject matter upon which he writes show far more about how irrelevant the old media is than he can possibly fathom. By PAUL MULSHINENewark, N.J.When my colleague at the

2008-12-23T10:12:00.002-06:00

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINTThe New York Times is still considered the greatest newspaper in America and maybe the world. Perhsps that is all the proof we need that big time journalists are the most insipid people around. If you made it past high school, you learned when writing something factual to validate your sources. How many people at this newspaper failed to verify that a letter

2008-12-22T14:35:00.003-06:00

Want further proof that people in the newspaper industry are too stupid to be trusted?How about this quote from an employee of the Rocky Mountain Daily News which is on the verge of shutting down:“I am beyond stunned,” said the veteran political reporter Lynn Bartels. “To me, what happened was literally like a ship capsizing in the middle of the night.”Got that? Mr. or Ms. Bartels is beyond

2008-12-22T11:12:00.002-06:00

Destined To Fail.That would be our incoming president. I know the sycophants in the media think he's brilliant. Most of his stooge voting base probably didn't realize the Democrats already controlled congress before the last election. I've met the guy. I've worked out with the guy. He doesn't have the chops. Or like the rest of them he's pathological. I don't blame him for that. It's the

2008-12-22T10:58:00.002-06:00

I'm back. Not necessarily better than ever. But back anyway.There's going to be a whole lot of stupidity coming out of Washington with the new administration and the criminal enterprise that is Chris Dodd and Barney Frank. So somebody has to discuss it before going to the reeducation camps.Lets start with Caroline Kennedy. It's amazing how the sycophants in Washington think she'll be a good

2005-10-18T08:42:00.000-05:00

Watching the White Sox go to the World Series as a Cub fan is like watching your sibling win the lottery.I like the Sox, but they're not my true team. It's cool that the Series is coming to town but it's a constant reminder of the true uselessness of the Cub.

2005-07-18T23:54:00.000-05:00

I Be Gettin All Learneded.Every time the sociologists get involved we take one step further into the abyss.Now a skewl districk in Californa is going to teach or use ebonics for their underachieving, low income students.Bill Cosby has just got to want to beat these administrators upside the head with a bag of jello pudding pops. Can't wait to see how all dem pimps and hoes do on their tests.

2005-07-17T19:15:00.000-05:00

My Meeting With DustySo, after my son's little league playoff game yesterday, Cub manager Dusty Baker watched his son's.He pulled up on his wicked Harley. I caught him immediately and asked if he would sign a paper for my son who was already gone. He saw me in my coache's shirt and cap and asked if we'd won our game.I told him that we did not have our best player who missed half the season for

2005-07-04T09:23:00.001-05:00

I was at the Cub game yesterday. It was (save for the baseball), a beautiful day that I enjoyed in the company of my almost 8 yr old.I could not help but think as I looked at the people on the rooftops the blue sky, and the majesty of Wrigley Field on this July 4th eve, "what a craphole this ballpark is".I have loved and savored the sentiment of Wrigley Field as much as the next guy/girl (I may

2005-06-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

"It's not an orgy. It's a toga party""It's not a pay raise. It's an adjustment so that they're not losing their purchasing power." -- Majority Leader Tom DeLay, on the House's scheduled $3,100 salary increase next year.

2005-06-22T12:23:00.000-05:00

Hello, I must be going.... sorry got into a Groucho riff there as I was mulling the top 100 movie lines.How "they're not gonna stop us, we're on a mission from God" didn't make it is beyond me. My other big beef was that the token Animal House line was Toga Toga. This instead of "Over? Nothing is over until we decide it is."

2005-06-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

Beyond Belief"Obesity, which already affects more than 300 million people and an alarming number of children, must be recognized and treated as a disease with deadly complications, a leading expert said on Wednesday.Up to 8 percent of total healthcare costs in some Western countries are attributable to obesity and related problems. It is a leading cause of preventable death -- so shedding excess

2005-05-20T11:49:00.000-05:00

True story. I offered to watch my neighbor's son one evening. His communion was the next day and his folks were preparing for a celebratory brunch. I figured he could come over and play with my son while they got their house ready. His mother asked if he could come over in his pajamas.I responded "Sure, it's Michael Jackson night at our crib". A good time was had by all. And no we did not

2005-05-16T16:22:00.000-05:00

So more quality time this weekend with The Modelchic. Saturday night We hung out at La Passage in the back room and she entertained the troops by doing some hot dancing on their little stage for lack of a better term. Only women are allowed up there. Which is fine because it kept me from having to show my dance moves or lack thereof to the whole room.She kept me out until 4 am. Although I had to

2005-05-13T10:00:00.000-05:00

Oh my aching head. It feels like somebody dumped Nebraska on it.No it's not what you're thinking. I'm not hungover although I did drink last night. I went to the U-2 concert and sat mega close to the stage. Unfortunately, I didn't bring ear plugs and 12 hrs later my ears are still ringing. I'm at the age where I need to take ear plugs to concerts and apparently also at the age where I can't

2005-05-05T14:58:00.000-05:00

Just wondering:When they have to change a tire on a jet, how does that work?Do they have to take all the luggage out so they can get to the jack? And then do they jack the plane up?

2005-04-29T11:46:00.000-05:00

Your Chicago Tax Dollars at Work.A woman took her dog for a walk. She did not have a leash on the dog. That's a citation and a fine. So far no problem. Ticket her ass and send her packing.The woman didn't have her wallet and ID on her. Just keys. Afterall she went to walk the dog, not rent a car.So the Cop(s) haul(s) her in. Then she spent 8 hours at the station or in the lockup.How many

2005-04-28T12:50:00.000-05:00

Is it just me, or do you get the nagging feeling when you pay your cab driver that you're funding Al Qada?

2005-04-26T14:55:00.000-05:00

The Last RoundupThe Feds nailed a ton of wiseguys here in Chicago yesterday.What I love about the wiseguys is the nicknames. My favorite is Joey "the clown" Lombardo. The Clown is in hiding apparently as the Feds didn't find him when the swooped. Another guy is named "No Nose". You can't make this stuff up. Since I'm making fun of Joey The Clown Lombardo, it's probably best that I go into

2005-04-22T10:18:00.000-05:00

Who says the government and the military do not find ways to be cost effective?China is the growing menace as they continue to become an industrial and military power. It would cost trillions in dollars and millions in lives to use the US military on China. So we're contracting out the operation. Finally some privitization of a government function.Altria is going to provide Marloboros to the

2005-04-21T15:15:00.000-05:00

GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!We start a new feature in our little universe today as titled above.People are already camped out for the next edition of Star Wars which doesn't open until May 19th. "Wow" you say. "Camping out for a month to see a movie is pretty fucking lifeless. What could be more stupid than that?"I'm glad you asked. The lifeless losers are camped out at Grauman's Chinese Theatre

2005-04-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

The Feel Good Story of the Year.6 elephants from a children's zoo in Seoul got loose and went on a shopping spree in the streets. "Honey, I'm gonna be home late. 2 pachyderms have me trapped here."

2005-04-12T07:16:00.000-05:00

I'm sure he won the Wednesday Vote.John Kerry complained that Republicans sent out fliers to Democrats telling them to vote on Wednesday.“Leaflets are handed out saying Democrats vote on Wednesday, Republicans vote on Tuesday. People are told in telephone calls that if you’ve ever had a parking ticket, you’re not allowed to vote,” he said.I'm not sure who's more stupid. Kerry or the people, if

2005-04-02T16:19:00.000-06:00

I'm throwing my pointy hat in for Pope.If elected I promise to pimp that popemobile into the most tricked out ride in Vatican history.Amongst my other qualifications, poverty and chastity. I've been both for about 2 months. Earl for Pope. If not now when?

2005-03-27T20:18:00.000-06:00

Wow!!!!!3 overtime basketball thrillers in 2 days. My baskeball prowess allowed me to have the foresight to pick Illinois, North Carolina and yes Louieville for my final 4. Thus I am leading my pool and when Illinois wins, so will I.I can't help but wonder if that beyond miraculous comeback by the Illini yesterday bodes glad tidings for all things Cub. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

2005-03-26T09:26:00.000-06:00

News Item:Over 50 fires were set by celebrating University of W. Virgina fans after their team advanced to the elite 8 of the NCAA basketball tournament on Thursday.Unreported by the politically correct press is that most of those were just Jeb and Mammie Yokum firing up the still to celebrate dem Mountaineers winning one of them basketball games.Remember Moonshinin, stumpjumpin, hogcallin,

2005-03-21T21:15:00.000-06:00

Can we please put Terry Shiavo's tube back in and take Michael Jackson's out?And could Michael Jackson's judge be any more of a pussy? Tell the dude you're tired of him showing up late and in his jammies for court. Throw him in the lockup and let him have some baloney sammiches and tell Bubba about his germophobia.Seriously, this dude needs to be planning his Roman Polanski escape b/c he is in

2005-02-25T15:48:00.000-06:00

A man who says his former lover deceived him by getting pregnant using semen obtained through oral sex can sue for emotional distress — but not theft, an appeals court has ruled. Dr. Richard O. Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a "calculated, profound personal betrayal" six years ago, but she says they had the baby through sexual intercourse. Let me see if I have this straight. You can save

2005-02-24T08:07:00.000-06:00

"I must say I don't know what the Democrats do to regain momentum."-- Former Vice President Walter MondaleThis is the guy the Democrats wanted to run in Minnesota when Sen. Wellstone died in a plane crash. What ideas. What leadership.I can't believe in a prior life I was a liberal and voted for this guy, 1984.

2005-02-05T13:14:00.000-06:00

Blogging live from The Hotel in South Beach. Yes, that's really its name. Much like EAT is a restaurant on Route 66. Far be it for a conservative to ask for more govenrment. But it seems to me there's a precedent. We make land owners clean up eyesore blight and we don't let people smoke in public anymore because it offends non smokers. I'm at the pool and a person there needs to lose at

2005-02-04T15:52:00.000-06:00

Death Row Inmates On Hunger Strike February 4, 2005 By ROSELYN TANTRAPHOL, Courant Staff Writer Death row inmates are staging a hunger strike at Northern Correctional Institution to draw attention to conditions at the "supermax" facility, which they describe as "tantamount to psychological torture." Now how can I not comment on this? Isn't a death row hungerstrike giving in to the man?

2005-02-04T15:46:00.000-06:00

Stuck in a hotel room in South Beach. I'd thought I'd spend my Friday afternoon reading Tom Wolfe's latest novel and drinking boat drinks while looking at the butt floss at my hotel's pool. But it was not to be. It's 11 degrees warmer here than it is in Chicago right now. More on S. Beach. I'd forgotten how the single man is discriminated against down here. I was at Nobu last night along

2005-01-27T17:42:00.000-06:00

I haven't waxed rhapsodic about my social life of late but I'm going to wait to mock the Democrats anti propaganda bill for later. Speaking of later I owe you folks a royal reaming of both the Chicago Cub and Bear each of which needs to suck me into a coma. That would be the only sucking for moi of late which leads me back to the social life. I find I'm once again "out there." I don't know

2005-01-26T21:58:00.000-06:00

So Condi Rice was confirmed today by an 86-13 count. That's right, 13 racist Senators from the far left voted to keep a black woman from being Secretary of State. One of the 13 was a former Klansman Robert Byrd. Sidenote, ever notice how most of your most famous racists are Democrats? Bull Connor, Lester Maddox, George Wallace. But I digress. Very telling on the votes of 2 Democratic,

2005-01-21T17:00:00.000-06:00

Don't mess with Texas. At the inauguration yesterday President Bush and U. of Texas alumnus Jenna Bush gave the finest symbol in all of college sports, the Hook em Horns to the Longhorn Marching Band. In Norway they were shocked at the site of Bush giving a "satanic" symbol. I'll post the picture when I figure out how. I love the President marketing my alma mater and spooking Europe at the

2005-01-14T19:27:00.000-06:00

Well that was fun while it lasted. It took a week under Abbas for an attack on Israeli civilians. As Carmine said to Dean Wormer "you better sit on that zoo fraternity of yours."

2005-01-12T21:03:00.000-06:00

So the Prince of England and heir to the throne gets caught wearing a Swastika. Hard to believe they lost the empire.

2005-01-09T09:35:00.000-06:00

The network who gave us "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance" and of course, "Who's Your Daddy" refuses to run a commercial of Mickey Rooney's booty. Am I the only one who thinks that the Ass of an 80 year old would be an upgrade in Fox's programming?

2005-01-09T09:34:00.000-06:00

Hard to figure out just who was the looniest/funniest Dem on opening day of Congress. We have the always loony Maxine Waters being embarrassed to share a race with Ken Blackwell. We have the protest of the Ohio vote b/c some voters had to wait too long. According to Barbara Boxer, this is Blackwell's fault even though the long lines were in democratic counties run by democratic people. Wow

2005-01-07T10:49:00.000-06:00

Last year the Defensive Coordinator of the Bear was a blowhard named Greg Blache. He said, paraphrased, that sacks aren't important. I think what he meant was pressure was important sacks less so. But that gives him a huge benefit of the doubt. Here's what H.O.F. coach Marv Levy says about sacks "You have second-and-long and third-and-long situations that lead to turnovers, and it all stems

2005-01-04T08:26:00.000-06:00

Stuffing the Channel It's typical of software companies that towards the end of a quarter they send a lot of product to their distributors. They are able to show it as a sale and make the quarterly figures look good. Then the distributor returns the unsold merchandise at a later date. Story today has Krispy Kreme stuffing the channel with donuts. So apparently Krispy Kreme is getting old

2005-01-03T22:48:00.000-06:00

How sweet it is. There are so many reasons to hate the U of Michigan. Obnoxious fans who spend a lifetime justifying why they spent four years in Ann Arbor. We know why. Because they couldn't Ivy League it. A Blue state with Ann Arbor still living in the 60's. So what better way for the beloved Longhorns to shove it up the gigi then with a 4th quarter rally and a last play field goal? I'm

2004-12-31T10:34:00.000-06:00

My beloved Texas Longhorn has caught a whole lot of flack for "usurping" the Rose Bowl spot of the California Golden Bear. Last night we saw how pathetic Cal was as they proved themselves completely undeserving of a BCS spot. They were given a complete and total beatdown by the middle of the pack Texas Tech Red Raider. Win or lose (shudder at the thought of losing to the most despicable

2004-12-24T10:34:00.000-06:00

Greetings from humid Boca Raton, Fl. Never has humdity been so welcomed compared to the weather back in Chitown. Speaking of Chitown a little snafu at the YMCA. It seems there was a tranny fashion show which went til 7 or 8 on Sunday morning. This led to a bunch of little kids seeing a ton of Boy George's and RuPauls. Not a pretty picture for a Christian organization. I'm a little more

2004-12-18T13:59:00.000-06:00

Topic on the radio today was what movie is so bad you have to watch it? That's a no brainer. Cocktail. It's the dumbest, most moronic movie regularly on TNT. But it's like the bad milk in the fridge that you have to smell. When you see it on your screen you have to leave it on.

2004-12-16T16:01:00.000-06:00

Oddly Enough MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A Mexican man killed his lover in a drunken, drugged fight then cooked the man's body in tomato and onion sauce and ate it over three days. Police found Gumaro de Dios Arias grilling rotting human flesh for his breakfast, including part of a heart, when they raided a shack he lived in near the Caribbean beach resort of Playa del

2004-12-16T15:17:00.000-06:00

The last time we heard from Trent Lott he was wishing for the good old days when Der Strommer, Strom Thurmond was preaching segragation. Lott said today that Rumsfeld has to go. The noose is starting to tighten around Rummy. My guess is he'll be gone within the next month. Or if not gone, have the skids greased for his departure.

2004-12-15T09:24:00.000-06:00

Bill Gates is joining the board of Berkshire Hathaway.That's the 2 wealthiest American dudes on the same board. Warren Buffett and Gatesy are big time bridge players but I think Uncle Warren brought Gates on board so they could play gin during board meetings.How much a point do you think they play for?

2004-12-13T16:05:00.000-06:00

So Scott Peterson is getting a nice justified injection. I guess my question is why does he get a shot for doing something that doctor's do to fetuses everyday? Seems to me the pro choice people should be appealing his sentence on the fetus. Or maybe they just have an argument that's inherently flawed.

2004-12-12T08:20:00.000-06:00

It is alive. Yes, I am back after a looooooooooooooong hiatus. Since I last scrivened the Red Sox won a world series, I'm finally legally divorced and Bush was re-elected. The Democrats and their liberal followers have been running around screaming about stealing Ohio and how we're going to all be converted to Christianity. And there was much rejoicing. Those liberal dopes really need to

2004-04-20T08:17:00.000-05:00

McDonald's CEO died of a heart attack. What are the odds that the head of a company that pushes fried hamburgers and super sized french fries would have hardened arteries. Next thing you know the CEO of Altria will die of lung cancer. I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you.

2004-04-08T08:24:00.000-05:00

I love Condi Rice. She's brilliant and I wish she was President. That being said, her hair looks like a bad cross between Prince and Denise Huxtable. Whoa 2 straight posts on hair. I've become Joan Rivers and Mr. Blackwell.

2004-04-04T14:46:00.000-05:00

Watched the Final 4 last night. Nothing like seeing Duke choke like a bunch of sissies. And what is with that haircut on coach K? Mikey two people you don't wanna look like; Moe Howard and Hitler. With that coiffure you look like Der Furhrer minus the stache. It was even scarier when you had a rant on the officials late in the game.

2004-04-02T15:42:00.000-06:00

And so it goes. Martha Stewart is gonna be making crepes and cell curtains out of jumpsuits and nice ornamental boxes to hold contraband. She made or saved 60 large. Two asswipes who took 600mil or so from Tyco get a hung jury. No wonder other countries hate us. We are that stupid.

2004-03-21T21:55:00.000-06:00

My alma mater the U of Texas is in the sweet 16 while overrated teams like Kentucky and Stanford went home. Life is good. It's really not fair to have a diploma from a school as great as UT and a good basketball team too. Imagine how people from Kentucky and Princeton must feel.

2004-03-17T07:56:00.000-06:00

Mr. Kerry added, "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it,". Just like his idol the other JFK. A true profile in courage. You have to admire this kind of principled leadership.

2004-03-16T17:10:00.000-06:00

This guy can't win the Darwinian award. Apparently a young lad tried to kill himself by crucifixion. He successfully nailed one hand to the cross. Then he was shocked, shocked I tell you to learn he had no way to nail his other hand up there. Clearly this guy has no chance at being a Palestinian Assassin. They only take people with a clear ability to kill themselves. No wonder companies

2004-03-08T06:40:00.000-06:00

So Martha's going to be preparing meals for hundreds. And all with plastic utensils. Ah the curtains made of jumpsuits. The cakes with files in them. Meanwhile Martha is gonna be one very desired fish. I bet she fetches a whole carton of cigarettes.

2004-02-28T16:08:00.000-06:00

Osama Seeks Satellite Dish According to published reports, Osama's toadies tried to get him a satellite feed so he could watch the 9/11 attacks. He was unable to get a dish set up in time. Let that be a lesson to you all you folks who want to live in a cave. Tough to get good tv reception. Of course, cable wasn't even an option. Note to self call Direct TV with Al Katy marekting plan.

2004-02-22T14:53:00.000-06:00

Oh my head. I went to a 40th bday party last night. If they made a video of it, it would be called "middle aged people gone wild". Sgt at Arms Douglas C Niedermeyer describes it on this website: http://www.acmewebpages.com/midi/profound.wav Sorry I can't link it. I'm still blog challenged

2004-02-12T18:40:00.000-06:00

The city of San Franciso had a Lesbian wedding today. The Bride looked resplendent in flannel. The other bride also looked lovely in flannel. No truth to the rumor that they consummated the marriage by kicking the crap out of some construction workers.

2004-02-12T11:05:00.000-06:00

SCANDAL FOR KERRY Drudge is reporting that John Kerry has affair issues. And it is being suggested that it could even be an intern. Those Democrats need signs in their offices that say "Don't Fuck the Help" Kerry wants to model his Presidency after Clinton. He's off to a good start.

2004-02-10T22:37:00.000-06:00

Ok. I have a new editor and she is tough. She wants a much more prodigous writing campaign. Unfortunately there's not much to write about. Wesley Clark hung it up. I'll miss his lunatic ramblings. In the meantime Greg Maddux has not signed with the Cubs yet. Well who needs his candy ass? John Kerry is to leadership as the Unabomber was to haute couteur

2004-02-07T13:40:00.000-06:00

Saladgate. Fresh off his temper tantrum at the salad bar in Lubbock, Bobby Knight goes into Lawrence, Kansas today to face the Kansas Jayhawks. I can only hope that they deluge Knight with croutons, sliced carrots, sliced cukes, and broccolin florets. Give the Cretin the crouton. What a putz.

2004-02-03T21:57:00.000-06:00

Brush With Greatness I shared a revolving door today with Michael Jordan. He didn't see me. The life of the little man.

2004-02-02T11:13:00.000-06:00

Thank God for Tivo!!!!!!! Without the magic of that techonology I would have missed......The Titty!!!!!! I was away from the telly during that part of the production. Fortunately, an alert friend called me to ask if I'd seen Janet's mammary. Though I missed it the first time I was able to go back via Tivo and see it. My take, Justin wasn't a victim of "wardrobe malfunction"

2004-01-28T13:25:00.000-06:00

Thought for the Day. John Kerry is Al Gore without the charisma.

2004-01-25T20:00:00.000-06:00

And Mussolini Made the trains run on time. Howard Dean said today that the standard of living post Saddam in Iraq is much worse. Leaving aside the fact that the value of the Iraqi currency is zooming, let's just thing about Monty Hall with the Iraqis. Ok, you can have 100 more goats for your herd but we're going to take off the ears of all your children with rusty knives. Or we can bring in a

2004-01-18T21:39:00.000-06:00

wow I haven't written in a long time. I'm sure you missed me. General Wesley Clark continues to astound by suggesting that a woman's right to choose goes right up until the baby is born. "Dr. can we change that caesarean section to an abortion? I've got a tennis game and I'm meeting Mimi for lattes this afternoon." Dr. Strangeglove is really running for President.

2003-12-24T15:35:00.000-06:00

Ladies some friendly advice. If you're drinking a highball, say a vodka and tonic or a scotch and soda, DON'T DRINK IT THROUGH THE STRAW. Thank you.

2003-12-22T14:00:00.000-06:00

Coincidence? First the government says there's a whole lot of signals about terrorist threats. Then N. California gets hit with an earthquake. I guess Howard Dean was right. We're not safer with Saddam in prison.

2003-12-14T07:52:00.000-06:00

You've just picked up 25 million dollars for turning in a murderous, brutal thug. What are you going to do now? I am gooink to Deesneey world. I wonder what kind of retainer Johnny Cochran would ask to represent Saddam in Court.

2003-12-07T16:27:00.000-06:00

Women are now deforming their feet to wear high heeled shoes according to today's New York Times. And the New York Times never makes up stuff. No wonder women only get paid 60 % of what men do. That's really stupid. Not that I'm advocating women abandoning high heels. I saw several fetching lovelies last night while waiting for a table at Gibson's. They looked great in their heels and

2003-12-02T13:18:00.000-06:00

Only took a month or so for my discussion of Saddam buying missiles and not getting his money back to make the main media. Wall St. Journal wrote on it yesterday. Somebody else suggested it would make a good SNL sketch. Well duh.

2003-11-30T17:26:00.000-06:00

Hope you all had a great thanksgiving. I'm utterly fascinated by Bush going to Iraq to boost the troops. As one reporter said, "the President's awol, and we're going on the coolest road trip." As I had the lad this weekend I did not spend much private time with Jane Bond, as I call the special forces model lady. She did impart some info on me but it was classified. I could tell you but then

2003-11-27T08:18:00.000-06:00

Happy Tgiving to all. This is my favorite holiday of the year even if the Packer wins today-blech. Some things to be thankful for that are unique to this great country: 2 football games today. No other country even has one; The steaks at Morton's and all the other similar steak houses. Try getting even a petite filet in say Lebanon let alone the 48 ozer; No Burkha's. Unless a woman

2003-11-26T16:09:00.000-06:00

You'll notice I haven't been around much. Two reasons. First I've spent a lot of time in Michael Jackson's bed. Because that's normal behavior. Second, I'm still savoring an evening with a former model, special forces solider, gourmet chef. NO I didn't steal that from a Grisham novel. That was a real Saturday evening. To be continued...... or not.

2003-11-24T13:44:00.000-06:00

John Kerry's campaign dopes were eavesdropped on while plotting strategy in an Iowa bar. Several thoughts come to mind here. First, do you want a president who's senior advisors are conducting business in earshot of others? You wouldn't hire a lawyer who did that or a doctor. As far as the strategy maybe instead of proposing Kerry ride on motorcyles, he could um ya know, maybe have a reason

2003-11-19T11:56:00.000-06:00

Went to Milwaukee yesterday for a business meeting. How nice not to be forced to provide I.D. in the lobby. Here in Chicago, and I would imagine in LA and NYC when you come into one of the nice office buildings you have to show who you are and provide a contact. This is the building's response to 9/11. Apparently if you have to show a driver's license you're not as likely to blow up the

2003-11-12T14:18:00.000-06:00

Village apologizes for cannibalism A remote village in New Zealand is coming to grips with its sordid past. Just out of curiosity, do cannibals eat humans cooked only? Or is it a possibility that they eat the flesh raw? People tartare with a velvety mustard sauce and capers for example. Food for thought.

2003-11-11T12:17:00.000-06:00

What a metaphor for my day. Off with the lad to school this a.m. and he hurls in the backseat of my car. Mr. Mom is now working from home while the prince sleeps. Off to the doctor's later. Perhaps some sympathy for Dad from a hot nurse.

2003-11-06T07:52:00.000-06:00

Now here's a Franco we can actually applaud. This canine hero has provided more useful than any Frenchmen for 60 years. A French hunter was shot by his dog after he left a loaded shotgun in the boot of his car with two dogs and one of the animals accidentally stepped on the trigger, police said on Wednesday. The man, from the village of Espelette in the Basque region, was admitted to hospital

2003-11-05T08:18:00.000-06:00

Congrats to David Letterman on becoming a father at age 56. When realizing that the talk show host was the father the infant quickly fashioned a top 10 list as to why it's good for gap toothed bastards of middle age to become new dads. Letterman is losing his grip on reality about as quickly as he's losing viewers.

2003-11-03T16:16:00.000-06:00

According to recently unearthed documents, in late 2002 Saddam gave North Korea a down payment of 10 million bux for missiles with a 1300 mile range. NK then said we (the US) were watching too closely so they couldn't deliver the missiles. Iraq asked for their money back. There are no docs to confirm if they got it. %$*^&*%^& Dictators!!!! Can't trust any of em. This is why in major

2003-11-03T08:09:00.000-06:00

Now this is progress!!!!! According to the front page of today's Wall St. Journal, the hottest home trend is urinals in the home. For all the "standup guys". If this trend continues, your humble host predicts a decrease in the divorce rate. No more fights about up vs. down or men missing the damn bowl. I guess the new fight will be over who puts those urinal cakes in. As a divorced male,

2003-10-26T06:52:00.000-06:00

Ahhh an extra hour of sleep. I'm up early thanks to the end of daylight savings time. More time to think deep thoughts for your dining and dancing pleasure. The Bears play the equally pathetic Lions today. I need to find a hobby so as not to watch this game. Anybody with some suggestions should email me at Addisonst@aol.com and entitle the post Get a Life. Being anti American is bad for

2003-10-24T08:23:00.000-05:00

Bob Dole on hapless Cub fan Steve Bartman. "He must be a democrat. He had his hand out."

2003-10-23T23:50:00.000-05:00

Well an amusing evening out for work purposes tonight. Went to a cocktail reception at Sushi Samba. The caparainas were flowin. And they didn't cost me anything. Now if only there had been some Brazilian hotties to talk to while I was quaffing my Brazilian cocktails.

2003-10-22T08:14:00.000-05:00

Denial I thought the biggest group in denial were the dwarves running for president on the Democratic side of the fence. But we have a new ostrich herd. Are ostriches a herd? Coven? Gaggle? Whatever. TV executives are in denial that they are losing droves of viewers. Amongst the excuses; Nielsen is using the wrong people. Nielsen isn't measuring people with dishes which are high tv

2003-10-22T08:09:00.000-05:00

Well let's see what's happening in our world? The Prime Minister of Malaysia is blaming Jews for all the ills that have befallen the Muslim world. Nothing new there. How about this? NYT columnist and lefty whacko Paul Krugman is defending the PM's diatribe. Bush made him do it says Krugman. It used to be that the NYT was "all the news that's fit to print" Now it's all the spew that's

2003-10-20T21:05:00.000-05:00

Osama's Back!!!!! This assclown is always makin tapes. Hey OBL!!! You wanna show me you're alive, wear a Marlins cap. Nobody was wearing em until 2 weeks ago. Meanwhile Wesley Clark and Joe Lieberman aren't going to run in Iowa. Wow 2 Democrats want to avoid Iowa. Finally, there is intelligence in the Democratic party.

2003-10-18T09:36:00.000-05:00

I use the sisyphus analogy and it gets plagiarized by the Wall Street Journal. Is there no pride in journalism anymore? Stealing stuff from moi? Granted I stole it from Greek mythology but I would have attributed it if this was a commercial publication. Here's the link.http://www.opinionjournal.com/taste/?id=110004179 Big up to my girl Reesie. She's next generation's Donald Trump and a

2003-10-15T17:26:00.000-05:00

After the agony of last night at the ball park, the sheer torture of having something you've coveted so long about to be given to you and taken away, we try again. I suppose Cub fans are like Sisyphus anyway. Last night we were so close to the top of the damn rock we could see the lights below all beaming at us. So I trudge back up the 14 blocks to the ball park again tonight. Much less

2003-10-14T15:53:00.000-05:00

I've been a pennantless fan for 40 years 2 months and 8 days. I'm taking my equally pennantless father of 65 years out to see the hopefully clinching game. Beer $6 Parking $30 Box Seats $ Don't ask Watching the Cubs go the world series for the first time with your father and 6 yr old son.......priceless. Looks like it'll be chilly out there. Gonna have to keep the beer limited b/c I'll be

2003-10-09T08:15:00.000-05:00

Off to San Francisco today for the Turnaround Management Conference. I had thought I'd be watching the Cub play the Giants out there. But that's Ok went to my second Cub playoff game in 4 days last night. What a joy. Hard to believe but the Cub is three games away from my first world series. Anyway, if you here stories about a drunken, straight guy celebrating in S.F. sort of a dog

2003-10-05T22:25:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I posted. CUBS WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Sat in killer seats yesterday while the team lost. All is forgiven. Everything is right in the world and the Florida Marlins are going to get whacked. That's the Chicago Way.